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           Heaven, Husbands and Hormones                   I'm sharing my thoughts on these topics with you because I am still learning even after forty years of marriage and parenting. As I grow stronger in my faith, my marriage and in my roles as wife, mother and grandmother, I will share these little "pearls of wisdom" with you on the blog page.

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There was a story that I heard years ago about a golfer, Jimmy, who went golfing with his friend Ned. After the trip, a friend of his asked him how the golf trip was.

Jimmy replied, “Well it was going great, but at the fourth hole, Ned stopped, grabbed his chest, dropped to the ground and died.”

His friend replied, “Seriously? What did you do?”

Jimmy answered, “What else could I do? I’d hit the ball, then drag Ned. Hit the ball and drag Ned.”

At the time I heard it, it was just a funny story about a very determined golfer. As time went on though, I observed that we all have Ned’s in our lives.

They are the people that we are either carrying, dragging around, or trying to heal and they are making our lives harder for us. They are slowing us down from our responsibilities and the things that we really do want to do but can’t, because they have robbed us of our time.

I realized this was happening to me when I was a young mother. Friends or family members would call or drop in (mostly uninvited) and unload all their troubles, frustrations, and concerns in their lives on me. Even though I was already overwhelmed with my own responsibilities and caring for my family, I politely took the time to listen to them and offer what I thought was the advice that I thought they were looking for. After all, isn’t that why they just spent an hour of my time telling me about their issues and complaints? They did not want advice though. They wanted someone to listen to them and allow them to release their frustrations. I was the one who indirectly volunteered to do that at the expense of falling behind in my own work.

Then one day, after I had heard the story of Ned, I found that as I went about my daily life, I always had a few Neds that I was dragging around. Some were family members, some were friends, and some were just acquaintances. Sometimes those Neds were the little thoughts that have crept up in my mind that slowed me down or caused me not to pursue the tasks that I had set out to do in the first place.

It took me a long time to understand that just because I love helping people, it doesn’t mean that I need to drag them around as I try to do the things that I want to do.

I decided to do three things:

  1. I chose who monopolizes my time away from my family, friends and job.
  2. I chose who I opened my door for.
  3. I chose who I answered the phone calls, texts, emails and messages for.

Now the question is, do you have any Neds in your life?

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